Real Dommes... A new phrase to hate

Warning.. this is a rant!! The banner is because I believe our energy is better focused on supporting sexual freedom of all flavours, not nit picking eachothers sexuality.

I am having some difficulty digesting all this talk of what a REAL dominatrix is, what a REAL pro does and what a REAL FemDom is. (emote: get's her soap box out)

I have been kicking around the BDSM scene for a very long time. Back when I first was exploring the land of kink and dark pleasures, it was if you were a REAL leatherman, or a REAL female for that matter. Since then this concept that we need to all fit into a label has been bandied about in various ways. You are not a TWUE spanko, because you enjoy rope. Twu spanko's only like spankings! You are not REALLY as submissive, because you don't always obey. You are not a TWUE Master...it goes on and on and on.

Sadly this seems to have migrated into the world of Pro Domination. Strictly speaking, if you are receiving remuneration in exchange for dominating someone, then you really are a pro dom(me). Now... Each of us likely has our own ideas and ideals on what differentiates US from THEM, with the assumption that the US group is more ethical, more upstanding, more professional, more everything good than the THEM group.

In a time where professions such as ours are still hidden away (and thus made unsafe) perhaps we need to really look at this divide and what it costs us, as individuals, as pro dommes and as part of a humanity in which our sexual expression is made to be illegal, immoral and unacceptable in many parts of the world.

Many of us are from different countries, different cultures and different generations and perhaps that explains some of the divide. Regardless of the reasons we each have a differing view of where the line is between dominatrix work and prostitution work, the hostility towards what we view as the opposing end of the spectrum harms us all. I don't care if you are an exotic dancer, a sensual masseuse, a GFE provider, a FemDomme, a porn star, a drag queen, a domina, a street 'hooker', a call girl, a dominatrix, a madame of a house, a dungeon operator or someone who seeks those services, or someone who enjoys BDSM in their private life, or someone who is not Heterosexual or binary. These labels need to not matter... Maybe later we can afford to bicker about what is and isn't appropriate as a Dominatrix...

We can't afford this bickering now.

We are in a position right now to really see some changes in many of our countries, as to how our legal systems view and protect/punish sexuality. But those changes may not continue to happen if all the various groups are bickering and side tracked with in fighting.

While I do NOT permit touching of me, that is not so that I am a true Dominatrix, or a real professional. it is simply my own boundary. I don't have the right to tell you where your boundary should be. And if you permit certain things I do not, the clients you get are ones seeking those services. I don't want those clients, as they will not be content with what I have to offer. The clients I get do not want services I do not offer, but they enjoy my boundaries. It is a win win situation.

Yes.. I have to deal with pushy clients messaging and calling, and asking for sexual fun. It's annoying, but it is not Mistress so an so's fault (regardless of what services she offers). There will always be pushy clients, in any business. (emote: puts away soap box) Just my rant and thoughts.

#prodom #escorts #sexworkers #laws #freedom #boundaries #rants #fuckinglabels